Aging Thoughtfully: Conversations about Retirement, Romance, Wrinkles, and Regret is a rather strange mix of philosophical discourses about aging, immediately followed with practical advice on how to spend retirement money and organize one’s estate. There are wonderful tidbits now and then, in both the philosophical and practical realm, but I felt it could have been more organized.
Tag Archives: aging
No Stopping Us Now: The Adventures of Older Women in American History both traces the history of how older women have been treated throughout American history and tells many anecdotes of specific women. I found the first theme most accomplished, in particular as it highlights the surprising ups and downs of women’s status (I suppose I should say it’s surprising to see that there were many ups). The anecdotes are interesting but the main focus seems to be on politics and entertainment, so mostly prominent women, and it would have been good to consider more average women. Still, a very readable and entertaining book.
Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing As We Age should be an uplifting story of how older women can and do flourish. I found it frustrating, with a rather amorphous mix of inspiring stories (usually too perfect to be true, or at least realistic, they made me think of an Instagram fro grannies) and bland success guidelines.
Perhaps I refuse to be guided into anything, including a blissful old age?
In Every Third Thought: A Novel in Five Seasons, the narrator is an aging English professor at a middling college who is struggling with a new novel, and increasing age. Over the course of the story he writes a dismal remembrance of his youthful days, full of sex and adventure–which his wife, wisely, advises him to shelf. Between the blue prose of the aborted story and the very annoying references to news items to date event, there’s little to enjoy. But what’s left is quite brilliant, with a great description of the life of the aging academic. Too bad there’s so little of it.
I have not been a great fan of Barbara Ehrenreich because she seems to have just one mode of expression: bitter ranting. Natural Causes: An Epidemic of Wellness, the Certainty of Dying, and Killing Ourselves to Live Longer started out a lot better than I expected, even made me chuckle as she described how she just bowed out of the endless and futile check-ups foisted upon her as a no-longer-young woman, or mocked the overeager exercisers her age trying to forget the inevitable sagging and weakening. But then the author veers into a strange discussion of how our immune system may turn against us (with only wobbly “proof” that it’s actually happening), and then I was not sure what I was reading about anymore.
The author of Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old spent a year interviewing people over 85 in New York City and features six of them in this book, interspersed with relevant statistics. He also tries hard to get each interviewee to share their wisdom, which seems to be less successful than just telling their stories, and I rather applauded the individuals who refused to play.
What I liked best in the book how diverse and unique his elders are. (And why should we be surprised? Old folks are just like us, except, well, old!) He also does a great job of showing how they navigate the obvious physical, mental, and financial obstacles they face in creative and satisfying ways. It’s an inspiring book even if several of the elders are no longer with us.
The Temptation to Be Happy is the funny story of a grumpy old man who avoids his cat-lady neighbor but takes an interest in a new neighbor who seems to be in trouble. His life changes as he opens up. It’s delightful, and perhaps a little repetitive if you have read A Man Called Ove and other stories of this ilk.
Perhaps you read Britt-Marie Was Here, lauded here a couple of months ago. And if you did, and liked it, you will undoubtedly love A Man Called Ove. For everyone else, A Man Called Ove stars a grumpy, fussy, lonely old man who misses his dead wife so much that he spends the first many chapters trying to commit suicide, in a completely controlled, preplanned, unobtrusive manner, as befits his style. But life intervenes as his new neighbors need help backing up their moving trailer without destroying his house, an old friend needs help escaping from the clutches of the social services, a young man needs help when his dad throws him out, and many people need rides to the hospital. The story flashes back movingly to his hard life while he grudgingly, but dutifully helps everyone and eventually finds a warm circle of friends.
A touching and comforting story if you need reassurance that our fellow human beings are mostly good.
Dinner with Edward: A Story of an Unexpected Friendship is a lovely story of how a young woman who just separated from her husband (and, apparently and rather drastically, her daughter) gets solace from scrumptious dinners with the elderly father of a friend who needs cheering up as he ages, without his beloved wife. The recitation of the menus seems overdone in a sea of similar book structures, but I loved the soft, yet lucid focus on how hard it is to age and slowly lose the ability to do simple tasks, not to mention equally aged friends.
In Old Age: A Beginner’s Guide, the author, who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in his forties, reflects on what it’s like to age. His descriptions of the subtle and often unsubtle rebuffs he has received as a result of his disease are both amusing and terrifying, as are the stories of his (mostly positive) interactions with the medical world. His point is that we will all die one day, and that it can be rough to wrap our head around that idea.
The last chapter is focused on societal trends rather than the personal side and I found it meandering and often ill-advised. But I loved everything else about the book.