Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church reminded me of Educated, which also stars a young woman brought up in a fanatical family, but with a very big difference: here, while fed a dizzying diet of one-sided Bible stories, the author is also encouraged to read the entire book, go to school and college, and not only browse the internet, but also be the voice of the Westboro Baptist Church online.
I found the story of how she slowly realized that the church, founded by her dictatorial and intolerant grandfather, was based on a lie, and that the coercive methods he employed were unacceptable, fascinating because of two things. One, she manages to talk kindly about the people involved, especially her mother, even as she details the errors of their ways. And two, she describes very clearly how painful it is to leave a church that is also her family, since it means that she will literally never see many of her relatives again.
On Division stars a 57-year old Hassidic grandmother who finds herself unexpectedly pregnant with twins, and she is so surprised, and dismayed, that she simply cannot bring herself to mention it to her husband. Over the course of her pregnancy, she reflects on the warmth and strictures of her community, as she nurtures her children and grandchildren, mourns her dead son, and finds a new occupation and dedication as a patient advocate and translator.
I loved this story, and how the author deftly balanced the joys and the painful limitations of living in a tight-knit community.
When Islam Is Not a Religion: Inside America’s Fight for Religious Freedom could use a good editor that would corral the many horror stories of anti-Muslim discrimination into a more compact account, avoid egregious mistakes like repeating entire sentences, and help present legal cases in a more accessible manner to non-lawyers. It’s too bad because the author’s position, that Muslims are often treated in unconstitutional ways (not to mention rudely and often threateningly), both by bigots (quoted as nauseam in the book) and also well-intended allies, is sadly correct and needs remedying. She is not optimistic.
Together with her unloved husband, the author of Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life goes to China, undercover, to proselyte for the Jehovah’s Witnesses, an organization that is banned by the Chinese government. There, she finds herself with a job as an unlikely podcast host, new friends, and an illicit correspondence with a Californian man that make her question her faith, and drag her away from it, and her family and old friends, who must shun her. I found her descriptions of living in Shanghai as a foreigner are delightful and her earnest description of losing her faith is arresting, although she could have excised the long exchanges with her Californian penpal.
Written by an Episcopal priest and former professor of religion, Holy Envy: Finding God in the Faith of Others describes her experiences as a professor along with her own private musings about discovering other religions. You won’t be surprised to hear that my favorite parts of the books are the stories about the students, some worried about losing their own faith by learning about others, and the many field trips she undertakes to all kind of religious gatherings, with the students, where she manages to meet people who welcome them in the warmest ways, including when they visit a mosque just days after 9/11.
Perhaps a religion course should be a prerequisite for all college grads? The ignorance not only of other traditions, but even the students’ own, is staggering and must get in the way of understanding others, let alone accepting them.
The author of In the Days of Rain: A Daughter, a Father, a Cult grew up in an evangelical cult that kept its members separate from the world, which they saw as controlled by Satan and harshly shunned anyone who broke rules that became more and more restrictive. Her father eventually left the cult and the book reflects on a child’s experience of living in a closed community and then breaking out of it. It’s a very hopeful book, since the author was able to build a successful life and even reconcile with her father, but a great reminder of the danger of communities where absolute power is held by a handful of men.
The author of Educated grew up in a survivalist family in Idaho, toiling in the (highly dangerous) family junkyard or helping her mother concoct homeopathic compounds — but never studying, either in an organized school or through any kind of home-schooling. Still through grit, ingenuity, and some luck, she managed to matriculate at BYU and from there pursue graduate education. The book describes her often shocking upbringing and how she painfully and slowly extricated herself from it, becoming estranged from a big part of her family in the process. It’s a harrowing tale.
The book is put together with intricate flashbacks and considerable skill. But there are some strange passages, in which pivotal scenes are tagged with footnotes explaining that different family members have very different recollections of the same events. Do they betray the care of a historian or on the other hand a fanciful delusion? And the assertion that her father is simply mentally ill seems rather generous: how about simply violent, controlling, and egotistic?