I was looking forward to reading Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids
because I think that raising children is an immensely rewarding experience (if you are a child of mine reading this: it’s because of your siblings, not you — I wouldn’t want you to get all cocky!) and that people are needlessly shy about going beyond the standard 2.1 kids per family. And I did enjoy reading the first few chapters, in which the author makes the simple points that (1) raising children is, indeed, rewarding after the fact, even if the nose-to-the-grindstone years are, well, grinding and (2) our current culture is pressuring parents to expand vast amounts of completely unnecessary energy into controlling every aspect of their children’s lives, which is exhausting and futile and should be abandoned in favor of having more children.
Because it turns out that we, clever, devoted, yet modest parents don’t make any difference whatsoever in how our kids turn out, or at least that’s what the author says, repeats, and repeats again, ad nauseam, for the next many chapters. And while I agree that there’s very little we can do (or should do!) to unmold our kids from their inborn personalities, I remain firmly convinced that hands-on parenting, in which we help the child succeed with his or her personality, not ours, is essential. Surely that point could be made more clearly.
I also wish that a more enlightened discussion of the practical challenges of raising children could have been included. It’s easy enough to wave hands and assert that three or four children are just as easy as two but who coordinates the daycare and school options? Why does school end at 3pm? Who gets to have a job that includes travel? It may be easier with a university professor’s job but most jobs are very inflexible when it comes to raising children, even without a hothouse approach.
Finally, the last several chapters are just a retread of the earlier ones, staged with gratuitous and forced dialogs that bring no value. Where have all the good editors gone?